Disaster Date: Klaine Edition
by xMissMacaroni
Summary: Santana is seeking revenge after Kurt sets her up on a bad date, so where does she go? To MTV's Disaster Date! But what happens when Blaine is Kurt's date? (rated T for a few words here and there)


"Hey, this is Santana and I'm setting my friend Kurt up on a Disaster Date. He had the nerve to set me up with some crazy lesbian version of one very annoying Rachel Berry, and now it's payback time.

Kurt hates guys who only talk about sports, rudeness, and guys who think Broadway is a joke."

"My name is Blaine and I'll be playing the role of Kurt's worst date ever! I'm about to be the sport-loving, Broadway-dissing nightmare to one Kurt Hummel."

* * *

Kurt walked into the small restaurant and tugged on the edge of his sweater, looking around at the people seated at the tables. He had to admit, when Santana said that she had set him up on a blind date, he was skeptical. Santana didn't do things like this from the kindness of her heart. She had an ulterior motive. She had insisted, though, and so he decided he'd give this a shot. He might actually enjoy himself.

Kurt spotted a young man sitting at a table by himself and figured this was his blind date. As he was walking over, he must have drawn the attention of the young man because he looked up and watched him approach the table.

"Hey, you must be my blind date," the young man said, standing up and extending his hand. "My name's Blaine."

Kurt smiled and shook Blaine's hand. "Kurt." _Bravo Santana_, he thought. Blaine was worlds cuter than what he was expecting.

The two sat down at the table and shared a brief smile.

"So Kurt, tell me about yourself. Do you like sports?" Blaine asked, diving in to break the awkward silence that threatened to settle over the table.

"Um, not exactly. I mean, I can watch some sports for a little while with my dad, but I'm not much of a fan. What about you?" Kurt replied. He wouldn't fault Blaine for liking sports, but he would have liked to start their conversation off with something that they could both get into.

"Oh yeah, I love sports. I play football all the time with friends and I follow the Buckeyes religiously," Blaine says, smiling widely and looking excited to be talking about sports.

Kurt's eyes widen a little and he gives Blaine a shocked little smile. "My dad loves the Buckeyes! We used to go to a bunch of games together when I was a kid. Not that I absorbed much, but it was fun to hang out with him."

"That's cool. I've gone to a few games, but I mostly watch them on tv with my friends. And like I said, we play all the time. One time this game got pretty intense and and I ended up breaking my arm. I was 16 at the time, and I'm a pretty small guy now, so imagine me then. It was bad. I was in that cast for months-"

Kurt kept a small, tight smile on his face as Blaine spoke, nodding in the appropriate places. He didn't want to be rude and cut Blaine off, but they had been on the topic of football for a good twenty minutes. It was time for a change of topic.

"So Blaine!" Kurt interjected, effectively ending Blaine's rant on NFL teams and their rivalries. "What other interests do you have? Any favorite kinds of music?"

Blaine smiled again, making Kurt's knees a little weak. He might not have shared the same enthusiasm for sports that Blaine had, but that smile was enough to put Kurt back in a good mood.

"I love music. All kinds. I'm not really picky about that. What about you?"

"Well, I like a lot of music. Mostly pop and show tunes," Kurt replied. To be honest, he'd been expecting more from Blaine's response after he'd talked his ear off about sports.

"Show tunes, huh? Like Broadway?" Blaine asked.

Kurt nodded, taking a sip of his glass of water. "Yep. I'm a huge Broadway geek. Have been since I was little."

"Really? M—" Blaine stopped, squinting his eyes ever so slightly as if he was trying to concentrate on something.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. Before my mother passed away, we used to watch all kinds of musicals and sing a long to all of the songs."

Blaine blinked a few times and gave a bit of a half-smile. "Oh. Sorry about your mom," he said in a soft tone.

"It's alright," Kurt shrugged. "I was eight. Long time ago."

Silence fell over the table and Kurt bit his lip, looking around the restaurant and trying to think of something else to say. Just as he turned back to Blaine to start speaking, the other boy stood.

"Hey, I'll be right back. I uh, need to use the restroom," he said in a rush, walked toward the back of the restaurant without waiting for Kurt's response.

"Oh-kay then..." Kurt said as he watched Blaine hurry away. He pursed his lips and looked down at his half-eaten salad. So far, this wasn't the worst date Kurt had been on, but it certainly wasn't the best. The only thing Blaine really had going for him were his charming good looks. It was a little disheartening. _Still_, Kurt thought as he looked down at his watch, _we haven't finished eating yet. There's still hope._

Elsewhere, Blaine leaned against a sink and stared in the mirror. This Disaster Date wasn't going as planned. He had been stunned by Kurt's fashionable outfit and beautiful face when they met and it had been downhill from there. He had followed Santana's voice in his ear for the very beginning of the date, talking forever about sports even when he saw Kurt's growing disinterest. When she told him to make fun of Kurt's taste in music, though, he couldn't. It would have been like making fun of himself because he also shared a love for musical theater. And then that comment about his mother? God, there was no way he could turn up the douche-bag level now.

"_Blaine, what are you doing? Get back out there. I said he doesn't like to be ignored, but come on. Make this interesting_," came Santana's voice through his earpiece.

Blaine sighed and rubbed his hands across his face. What was he supposed to do? He genuinely liked Kurt and didn't want to make this a date a disaster...but it was his job.

"_Blaine!_"

With a groan, Blaine touched the earpiece and muttered, "I'm going, I'm going," and exited the restroom.

Back at the table, Kurt was pushing around his salad. Blaine had been gone for almost ten minutes, which was longer than one is normally in the bathroom unless they were...you know...taking care of business. Kurt blushed and pushed the thought away because that would only make things awkward when Blaine got back.

"Sorry about that," came Blaine's voice a few moments later. He sat down and took a bite of his food. "So what were we talking about?" he asked, mouth still full.

Kurt scrunched his nose in disapproval, but didn't comment on Blaine's sudden lack of manners. "Music. Do you like musical theater, too? You seemed like you wanted to say something earlier," he replied, hoping to get more of a conversation flowing. It took a few moments for Blaine to reply, but when he did, Kurt couldn't help but tilt his head. He sounded sort of defiant.

"Yes, actually. I adore musical theater," Blaine said, swallowing down his food and taking a sip of water. "What's your favorite musical?"

_This is more like it_, Kurt thought with a pleased smile. "I absolutely love Wicked. I've seen it about 4 times."

The conversation seemed to pick up a bit from there and it gave Kurt a chance to connect with Blaine on something they were both interested in. There was only one thing that seemed off, and that was the look that would cross Blaine's face every now and then. He would squint his eyes and look as if he was distracted by something. It didn't necessarily bother Kurt, but it made him curious. What was going through Blaine's head?

Kurt was in the middle of talking about his latest musical experience when Blaine stood up abruptly once more. "Excuse me," he mumbled before running off to the back of the restaurant again. Kurt frowned and stared after him.

"_Blaine, what the hell? This isn't a disaster date at all! What are you doing, man?_" Blaine's producer spoke into the earpiece.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I just...I can't do it. Kurt's a good guy and I don't wanna screw this up," Blaine replied exasperatedly. He leaned against a stall door and rubbed his face in frustration.

"_Don't wanna screw this up? Blaine, come on. You work on 'Disaster Date.' You're an actor and this is what you do._"

"I know. I know it's my job to make sure this date is a disaster and absolutely unbearable. I just...I can't do it. We're ending this now. I don't want to do it anymore." Blaine said rather forcefully. He and Kurt had really bonded in the last twenty minutes and he couldn't possibly ruin it now. If he lost his job, oh well. He'd find something else to do. What mattered to him was that he came clean to Kurt and that they started over, getting to know each other under better circumstances.

The door to the restroom creaked and Blaine looked up to see Kurt's retreating figure leave the doorway. "Shit," he muttered, springing away from the stall and out of the restroom. He found Kurt grabbing his shoulder bag from the back of his chair, looking as if he was getting ready to leave.

"Kurt, wait! Where are you going?" Blaine asked, hurrying over to him.

"So this date is a disaster?" Kurt snapped, setting his angry blue-eyed glare on Blaine. "It's absolutely horrible?"

Blaine's face paled and he put his arms up. "N-no! What-"

Kurt scoffed, cutting him off. "I heard you in the restroom. If you were having such a horrible time, you should have just told me, instead of saying it behind my back. And if we're being honest, I'm the one who should be complaining. You've been a less than perfect date today," he said angrily. He spun on his heel and began walking toward the door.

"_Well this turned out pretty disastrous_," came Santana's amused voice in his ear.

"Wait!" Blaine exclaimed, dashing forward and grabbing Kurt's arm. "Wait, let me explain. I'm an actor, they're all actors, there are hidden cameras all around the restaurant and you're on MTV's _Disaster Date_," he said in a rush. At that moment the production crew and Santana appeared from the back of the restaurant while the rest of the people in the restaurant clapped and cheered.

Santana skipped over to a stunned Kurt and threw an arm around his shoulders, placing a kiss on his cheek. "That's for setting me up with Lesbo-Berry," she said with a satisfied smirk on her face.

Kurt looked around at all of the people that had been in on this entire hoax. _So it was all an act_. His eyes landed on a very sheepish looking Blaine, who was scratching the back of his head.

"So, since you put up with me for a full fifty minutes, here's fifty dollars," Blaine said, holding out a stack of cash and trying to sound lighthearted about the whole situation.

Kurt hesitantly accepted the money and gave a weak smile to the people around him. He tried to give a happy little "woo" sound, but it sounded forced and awkward.

The crew started to disperse after that, shutting down their equipment and pulling out cases to put it all away. Santana hooked her arm through Kurt's and started to turn toward the door and pull him out of the restaurant. Kurt bit his lip and shot a disappointed look Blaine's way before he turned and began to follow Santana.

Blaine stood there for a moment, debating on what to do. He couldn't just let Kurt walk out of his life like this. He looked back at the crew and then at the door that was now closing and letting Kurt and Santana out. In the blink of an eye he made his decision and ripped the earpiece and microphone off of his body, running out of the restaurant to catch the pair before they got too far.

"Kurt, wait!"

Kurt stopped and turned around, causing Santana to be tugged backward and hiss her disapproval. He waited until Blaine caught up to them, keeping a blank expression on his face.

Blaine cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling awkwardly exposed under the gaze of both Kurt and Santana. "Look...I know this probably wasn't the best of introductions, but do you think maybe, I don't know...we could start over?" he asked nervously. He saw Kurt lean over and muttered to Santana, "Beat it, Satan," and refrained from smiling. Santana rolled her eyes and started walking away, but not before she replying, "You owe me, Lady Lips."

When Kurt turned back to Blaine, he crossed his arms over his chest and pursed his lips. "No cameras?"

Blaine shook his head. "No cameras."

"And no acting?"

A small smile crept onto Blaine's face. "No acting."

Kurt stood silent for a moment before straightening up and extending his arm. "Kurt Hummel," he introduced himself, a small smirk making its way to his face.

Blaine grinned openly and took the offered hand, turning it over and placing a chaste kiss on his knuckles. "Blaine Anderson. Pleasure to meet you, Kurt," he said, delighted that his action brought a light blush to Kurt's cheeks.

"Likewise," came Kurt's response.

Blaine dropped Kurt's hand, but instead of stepping back to face him, he moved to Kurt's side and gestured down the sidewalk. "Would you like to go for a walk with me? Maybe get some coffee?"

Kurt looked as if he was pretending to consider his options, but the smile that he was trying to hide from Blaine broke free and he nodded. "I'd be delighted," he replied, allowing Blaine to link arms with him and begin strolling down the street.

* * *

We own nothing! Written by myself and sarahhforreal on tumblr. Yaayy.


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